Quiet tension has started to rise up between us. Tension between our different organising themes. Tension in our differing thoughts about the vision, mission and ambition of this group. In this in person meeting, we would look to heal this tension and regain our collective strength for the journey ahead. We would focus on wellbeing support and who better to hold the space for us to do this than our dear friends Katherine, Alanna and Ekow from Rivers Coaching who facilitated our seventh gathering.
The session was an opportunity to explore the fraying, and reveal the threads we’d like to continue pulling on. An opportunity to start naming hidden feelings; to voice out loud the discomfort, the tension, the disagreement existing between us so it could be acknowledged and addressed.
One thing about me you should know…
Rivers Coaching set the tone with a calming starter activity led by Katherine that slowed down the breath and invited us to reflect on our ancestors: who did we wish to invoke, channel and bring into the room with us today? This led into an icebreaker activity that asked us to respond to the prompt “One thing about me you should know…” across different contexts (e.g. first date, last day of work). Only now do I fully appreciate the ingenuity of starting the day in this way. The meditation was relaxing and brought immediate serenity to the space. The channelling of ancestral personalities and playful response to what part of ourselves we would reveal in changing contexts unravelled our many facets of thought and expression. As one Temporary Steward noted, “it allowed us to get into the nooks and crannies of our similarities and juicy differences”. The room felt safe and the activity gave us permission to be braver and bolder in speaking our many truths. We could now tackle any tension with authenticity and trust.
Back to the core…
To regain collective strength, we must be on the same page. From here, Rivers took us back to the beginning as we split into groups to reflect on two questions: What is a stewarding group? Why are we doing this? Only, this time, we pulled apart each other’s responses, dissecting for details and lifting stones previously left unturned. This was an opportunity to expose doubt, scepticism, cynicism, fear, assertions and assumptions as we shone a light on the murkier questions, “what if nothing binds us together? Or, what if we don’t like what we find?”. The nurturing, safe space curated by the Rivers team empowered us to bravely speak out about things unsaid. Tension released as our thoughts and fears were received by the group. The collective love and trust in the room signalled that whatever happens, it will be ok – we hold the wisdom and resources within us, and within the communities we belong, to help find a way forward.
The pace of the session was excellent. There was space to share ideas, thoughts, emerging questions and feedback. It did not feel rushed yet there was clear direction. Alanna’s deliberate pauses to reflect back to us what she was hearing kept us on track whilst still acknowledging the relevance and importance of the tangents we took along the way.
Sometimes the purpose is to ‘just be’
A key theme of the day was the interplay between doing vs. being, being vs doing. As activists, we feel the urge to jump straight to action – ‘just being’ is far less comfortable terrain. Yet, as illuminated by Rivers, there is value in considering how our ways of being could bring about liberation. Deciding how we want to be together might be enough? We must lean on the wisdom of our communities and bring that into our collective existence.
‘Holding’ emerged as a keyword in every sense: holding each other, holding accountability, holding resources, holding an invitation to others, holding solidarity. Most importantly, how are we holding each other? How we hold each other has the potential to radically resist the existing systems and ways of living that are failing us; it can be an act of liberation in itself.
What are we starting to commit to in a very concrete way?
Later in the afternoon we moved from critical thought and deep exploration of our collective purpose towards quiet action. We were gently propelled by the Rivers team who presented us with a carousel of questions to reflect on:
- What am I afraid to say?
- What are the questions I have?
- What am I feeling anxious about?
- What are the barriers?
- What’s possible?
- Who is missing?
- Why am I here?
- Who am I speaking / showing up for?
Honest and illuminating points were shared, captured in photographs and notes as a way to continue conversations between sessions.
To conclude the day, we exited the room with a final question to muse on – “what are we going to commit to?”
Pulling at the threads
This meeting explored the fraying and revealed the threads we’d like to continue pulling on. Some still feel anxiety around the timeline and getting to the end without decisions being made. Some gained clarity and a new-found confidence to share. Some were grateful for things being named as this calmed the energy and made things seem less abstract. Some are still searching for greater clarity. As ever, there are emerging questions and courageous conversations still to be had.
For now, we give huge thanks to Alanna, Katherine and Ekow from Rivers Coaching for facilitating a productive meeting and curating a uniquely special space. A space to share jokes and be held (both physically and touch free). A space where challenge and conflict was welcomed alongside joy and celebration. With their guidance, we’ve found the courage to lift the unturned stones, soothed by the knowledge that we have the wisdom, safety and trust between us to face whatever is beneath.
“I now feel lifted. It’s proved that safety in the group and trust; being able to lift that mask. The way that Rivers facilitated gave us lots of space and time and direction as well. It was the correct pace, calm and loving”
“Money can get in the way, there’s something about the resourcefulness that happens without money sometimes”
Written by Sal from Northern Soul
Illustrated by Paolo Feroleto